| time for a change |
[09 Jul 2004|03:39pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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It is time for a change, so I have made a new journal.
Add me if you like, and I will surely add you back.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) _baybeh
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| i know you know |
[07 Jul 2004|09:25am] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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Taking Back Sunday | The Photographs Are Proof |
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It's amazing how a few clicks here and there on the computer can ruin your life. Forever.
Today has not been the best of days. I feel like such a head case. I need out of this house, this state, this life. I am out of here, soon.
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| i dont get paid for another 4 weeks |
[06 Jul 2004|09:58pm] |
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mood |
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 pensive |
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I need a job. Please pray, think, chant, encourage, or whatever you feel the need to do so I can get a job.
I have 2 applications that I am going to turn into tomorrow morning. Wish me luck, I need it.
Thanks. :)
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| just wanted to say |
[04 Jul 2004|04:55pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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Happy 4th of July.
This past week was wonderful. I love you. <3
Pulling off the side of the road to watch fireworks is the best.
I hate making a 'to do list', but you gotta do what you gotta do.
My laptop broke down on me, it sucks.
Going out to eat with your newly married best friends is strange, strangly fun.
Watching church on TV is lame.
Both of my parents are going out of town for Mission Trip. Praise God!
Writting incomplete sentences, not using proper grammar, and miss spelling words, is the way to go.
I will find a job before swim is over!
I will move to Jersey in January! I must. I can.
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| good times |
[03 Jul 2004|05:20pm] |
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mood |
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grateful |
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Amber Pacific - "Always You"
I'll hold a place for you and I
Inside my heart for you and I
I won't forget these tears I cried
With every year that passes by
And I can't sleep without you
And I can't breathe anymore
Good times last forever
I'll keep my heart with yours
For every minute I am gone (I am gone)
Swear you'll never leave me
I'll be there every time
In your heart and in your eyes
I'll give it up this time again
Some things are better left unsaid
And all I have are lasting dreams
Our word's worth more this time it seems
And I can't sleep without you
And I can't breathe anymore
Good times last forever
I'll keep my heart with yours
For every minute I am gone (I am gone)
Swear you'll never leave me
I'll be there every time
In your heart and in your eyes
Good times last forever
I'll keep my heart with yours
For every minute I am gone (I am gone)
Swear you'll never leave me
I'll be there every time
In your heart and in your eyes (In your eyes)
Good times last forever
I'll keep my heart with yours
For every minute I am gone (I am gone)
Swear you'll never leave me
I'll be there every time
In your heart and in your eyes (In your eyes)
In your eyes
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| you feel good |
[29 Jun 2004|02:01pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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It just feels good to have you sitting in my living room hanging out and watching tv. It feels good to wake up and know that you are only 2 mins away. It feels good to have everyone tell me that they love you, and that they are so happy for me. It is nice to see everyone telling you to be nice to me or they will bust your face. Hahaha. It feels good having the chance to argue and still being able to kiss each other at the end. But mostly it feels good knowing that you love me and I love you, and that no matter what we will be together.
You just feel good in general.
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| wedding |
[26 Jun 2004|08:20am] |
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mood |
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excited |
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Today is the big day. Last night was wonderful and Pete did an amazing job! I am glad that he is here and that I can share this with him. I know the wedding is going to go great! Crystal&Tommy are so much in love and you could see that shinning through last night, it was lovely. I am glad to be apart of something so special.
It's amazing how I couldn't wait for this weekend to come, and now it is here and I want it last forever. Life is amazing right now and I am so excited to see where all this is going to take me. Even when things don't always go the way I planned, they are working towards that best. I thank God for these times in my life. Thank you.
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| you look so lovely running though my fingers |
[19 Jun 2004|11:29pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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music |
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Northstar | Pollyanna |
] |
New layout. Check it. It's pink, pink is the new pink.
I am bored out of my mind. Time for bed!
4 days! YAY!
I don't think I've wanted to hold him so much in my life before. <3
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| time to grow up |
[19 Jun 2004|12:28am] |
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mood |
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 determined |
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music |
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Senses Fail | Buired A Lie |
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It's late Friday night and I am sitting at home downloading music, and filling my iPod up. Strangly it was only a few months ago where I would have hated to be sitting on my butt at the computer but now it seems like it doesn't even matter at all. Who cares? I know you don't, why should I? Why should you? I see this as a sign of growing up. I want to bad to grow up so bad. I don't want to look to my parents for advice in every situation, instead I want to be bold and make up my own mind without anyones help. I realize that I am young, and that I have time to be completely grown up, but knowing myself that won't happen until I am out of this house, having to pay my own bills and working my butt of for the things that I want.
I have talked about it before, about the idea of moving to Jersey in January. I want to be with Pete, and moving to Jersey is what needs to happen to do that. Some of Pete's friends are talking about buying a house and moving in, that would be great! I would do that in a heart beat! First of it would be cheaper and money is probably the biggest gap that I need to get across. But living in a house with about 3 or 4 other people would make that a ton cheaper. My Mom seemed to be ok with that idea, as long as I wasn't moving in with Pete, I don't think she cares either way. Of course I would have to pay my way, my entire way. I am pretty sure that when I start school up there that they will pay for it, at least they will pay for it as long as I am not married. I was really worried about moving up there on my own, trying to pay an apartment rent that is $1,000 bucks a month, that would have kicked my ass. Pete has been awesome in being willing to help me do this, helping me find a job, and a place to stay. Haha, his Mom is even wanting to break down walls for me to move up there. The only person that really isn't into the idea of me moving is my Mom, and rightfully so, I am here baby, her baby growing up. At least I am trying to grow up.
I do have alot to learn, and I have alot I need to go through in order to grow up, and I am thankful that I am learning to grow up now. I understand all that I need to do, it is just a matter of getting it done, and growing up. I am pretty sure that this is my last week to work for Syb this summer, maybe even my last summer at all. I need to find a new job and fast! Laura Bush and I have talked about me sorta being a house keeper for her, but that wouldn't happen until August, and I need to start working in July. Waiting table maybe? Being a cashier? I hear Home Depo pay good. I just need to be making money that I can save. Saving would be a good lesson to learn, I know I don't want to end up like brother. On the job hunt, yet again.
In 5 days Pete will be here! Hooray! And he will be here for a whole week. I seriously can not wait to see him again. I can't wait to show him off to my friends&family, and have everyone meet him. No one has ever seen me with a boyfriend, and I have never been around my friends with a boyfriend, this is going to be interesting, a wonderful kind of interesting! Crystal told me she was just excited to see how Pete and I act toward each other. We are going to have alot of down time, and just watching movies and hanging out, it is almost going to be like he lives in Texas. I am afraid that I might get used to it. We are going to a couple of shows, visiting friends, watching movies, going to the movies, going out to eat, making out and what not. All the things that 'normal' couples do. Hurry up Thursday!
It is strange how much things have changed. How much things are going to change, and change soon.
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| theme song |
[14 Jun 2004|12:52am] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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music |
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Talking to Pete on the phone :) |
] |
It's for the Best - Straylight Run
it takes more time than i've ever had
drains the life from me
makes me want to forget
as young as i was, i felt older back then
more disciplined, stronger and certain
but i was scared to death of eternity
i was saved by grace
but destroyed by naivety
and i lied to myself
and said it was for the best
so now faith is replaced with a logic so cold
i've disregarded what i was
now that i'm older
and i know much more than i did back then
but the more i learn
the more i can't understand
and i've become content with this life that i lead
where i drink to much and don't believe in much of anything
and i lie to myself
and say "it's for the best."
we're moving forward, but holding ourselves back
and we're waiting on something that will never come
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| good eye sniper |
[13 Jun 2004|05:57pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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Coheed & Cambria | A Favor House Atlantic |
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I have alot going through my brain right now. There has to be a balance, and I feel like I am almost there. I want/need to talk to Pete. Since I don't know what to say, here are some pictures ... like whoa :)
( save us from sleep & what we are )
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| glenn, glenn, glenn |
[04 Jun 2004|12:06am] |
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mood |
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exhausted |
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music |
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The Postal Service | The District Sleeps Alone Tonight |
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I am so tired. My body feels like it is about to fall apart on me. I haven't slept good all week, and I am starting to get sick, but working with Chase has been awesome. He is a good guy and fun to work with. I found out that I will not be lead teaching this summer, and I am bummed because the money would have been nice but I am cool about it because I am making good money, and I probably won't be working for Syb next summer anyways, but we'll see. Tomorrow is Friday and our last day of the week, Praise God! We all need a break, like whoa.
Tomorrow will probably be the longest day of my life because I can not wait for Saturday to be here. Saturday is going to one awesome day. I am going to Jersey, that is right! To see Pete non the less, and also see my Grandmother but mainly Pete! I am excited to the core.
I got a letter from Yura in Ukriane today! He was great, and I am so glad that I went to Ukraine because it was life changing. Thanks Jen! Apperently he has been emailing me but I haven't been getting them, so he sent me his email, yay! I am wondering who wrote the letter because Yura doesn't speak nor write English, only Russian. I have alot of emailing of pictures to do for people and people on the trip to Ukraine. I have alot to do in general.
I am going to bed, I am beat. Love to everyone & goodnight <3
Oh, and please check out Kurt Halsey, he is amazing.
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| the tension and the terror |
[28 May 2004|04:05pm] |
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mood |
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 peaceful |
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music |
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Reggie And The Full Effect | Thanx For Stayin' |
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I do believe that my pink eye has spread to my good eye. I am working hard here for it to go away damnit! Amy called me today asking me if I still wanted to go shopping for Crystal's party tomorrow, and I really wanted to go but, I can't run around with pink eye. I would never wish this on anyone! I just hope it clears up before work on Monday or no work for Bekah, and that isn't good. I have eye drops from the doctor so hopefully that will help. I can't really tell a difference, other than my eye isn't producing as much discharge as before. Sexy eh? I have oozing eye. Hahaha. I blame Baby Ella.
I leave for Jersey in about a week. I can not wait to see Pete! We have a great weekend planned, other than meeting his family and seeing my Grandmother, we will be in NYC the whole time. Going to Time Square, the movies, seeing Straylight Run and everything in between. It is all I think about, he is all I think about, it will be wonderful. I am alittle nervous meeting his family because I want so much for them to like me, and of course Pete says that they will, but I still have little nervousness about meeting them. I am sure I'll be fine, I just need to be with him.
Every phone conversation we have makes me fall more and more in love with him. I am excited, scared, ready, and all those other feelings that go along with being in love. I don't think anything can prepare someone for these times in our lives. You can hear one love story after another but until you experiance it for yourself, and it isn't one sided, then you can truelly understand what love is about, and what it means to you. I have really liked alot of guy in my short lifetime of 20 years, and for the most part it was never a returned feeling. Of course I have had my random make out sessions here and there, but the morning after I felt just alone as I did before even more alone at times. I've often felt not worthy for someone to love me because of situations in my live, and I struggled with low-selfesteem (still do at times), because I just felt that if I was so and so's girlfriend they would laugh and mock him, and I wouldn't want that, so I just ran from any relationship that could ever been. But for some reason Pete got to me, I don't understand it. He is a good bit older than me, he lives over 1500 miles away, and it would seem that the odds were against us but all those things have pulled us closer to each other. We've learned each other, and still are, even in our distance. I am happier than I have been in the longest time because even in his absents I know he is thinking about me, and that he cares the world about me. I want so much for him to understand that the way he feels about me is the exact same way I feel for him. Yes, we view things differently, but alot of that has to do with where we grew up. We disagree on certain things, but they aren't things that are going to keep us apart. Everyone disagrees at some point, but even in our disagreements we find each others point and even learn a thing or two. My Dad told me at my brother Kelly's rehearsal dinner that love and marriage are great, but it isn't just about the love, it is about getting through life together, day by day. I see Pete as that person, I will/can get through life with him, day by day. Out of all my family surpisingly my Dad has been the most supportive, and that means so much to me. And if and when I choose to move to Jersey to be closer with Pete I believe that my Dad will be the one that supports me the most. Next Saturday I believe will be one of the best days of my life. I'll see Pete and finally be able to look him in the eye and tell him how much he means to me and how much I am in love with him. Those words scare me, but if it was easy I don't think it would be worth it. Even now my stomach gets butterflies and I am nervous but I know once those words are out there, in front of this face, and in his ear that isn't attached to a reciever of a telephone it will be amazing. In the past month of being together I have learned alot about myself and the things that I want to change and change for the better. I have a ton of growing up and if it wasn't for Pete I don't think I would have begun to work on it so soon. I know Pete will be there with me, and help me through. I am excited to share these lessons with him and I only want to share them with him. Life from April 18, 2004 will never be the same, and I am glad about it.
Wow, ok :) In other news, swim has been going good. Syb drives me crazy but I love her like whoa. Even though she is crazy and doesn't make sense some of the times she has been really awesome to me for giving me work to do. I need the money! The May set with Brittnay and Chris was insane but alot of fun! Chris and I got along really well, he is a good kid. Brittany and I got along, but we don't really share anything in commen. She is the super, ask for extra credit kinda person and I am so not like that. We are just different people in different worlds. But like Pete says, to each their own right? Haha. Anyways, next set I am working with Chase in the morning and evening, and it will be WONDERFUL! He is so much fun to hang out with and he will probably be so much fun to work with! June is going to be a good month for me :) We get paid on Monday at staff meeting and my check is going to be nice, well deserved I might add. May was just so long anf annoying. I love teaching lessons, despite parents, Syb, and bad weather, watching a kid learn to swim is really awesome. These kids make me want to have kids, not anytime soon, but have kids and be the best parent I can be.
Crystal's wedding is so soon and I am so excited for her. I got my bridesmaid dress and shoes and I got to be honest I was alittle nervous wearing the royal blue dress but they really do look great! At the wedding shower last Sunday was alot of fun. Tommy and Crystal looked beautiful together, and they got a ton of stuff! Nice stuff! I even got to talk to Erin, Jason's wife, she isn't that bad I guess, you just have to let down your guard and be really nice to her and she will be nice to you. We talked alot about how things went with her wedding, it was fun because the idea of getting married isn't just an idea, it is a possiablity! Her ring was amazing also. The news about Bekah having a boyfriend had spread all over the church and my friends so I got many questions, it was alot of fun to tell everyone that I think I am in love. It is nice to see their happiness for me. I talked to Karla Hinkle about moving up there and she was like do it Rebekah, do this August. Haha. Of course I can't move up there that soon but it was wonderful having her encouragement. Weddings are great. Tommy and Crystal are going to have a wonderful marriage. Love you guys <3
It's been 8 hours since my last eye drops so I need to put some in. How is that for an update, like whoa. 8 DAYS!
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| so pretty in pink |
[27 May 2004|09:17am] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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Acceptance | Seeing Is Believing |
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So I am more than pretty sure that I have pink eye. Not a bad case but it looks crazy looking. Good thing I already wear my hair over this eye anyways. Haha. This sucks because if it isn't gone by Monday then I can't teach. Wouldn't that be great, I have pink eye and then all my kids get pink eye and our set is over. Yeah, that would suck.
I wish Pete was here. I miss him. 9 days! I guess life could be worse.
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| count down |
[25 May 2004|01:08am] |
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mood |
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ecstatic |
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music |
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Streetlight Manfesto | Moment Of Silence |
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1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12 DAYS!
Til' I see my baybeh.
yvleoiuo :)
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| ha, i am boring, i rule |
[15 May 2004|07:22pm] |
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mood |
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lazy |
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music |
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Fall Out Boy - Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner |
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I got my renewal for my CPR today. Now it is good for 2 years, yay, and I can maybe save your life. :)
My tan/sunburn is starting to itch because it is dry, gross.
Bob's birthday is tomorrow, he will be 48. Happy Birthday Daddy!
And I've come to the conclusion that not all home schoolers are weird and awkward.
I am so lazy. I hate that. Must fix this. Starting now.
Oh & Kurt Halsey is the coolest.
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| loud & out of key |
[11 May 2004|11:37pm] |
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mood |
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good |
] |
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music |
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Sugarcult - Memory |
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I love talking to you. I can't wait to talk to you face to face and hold your hands again.
I miss you. <3
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| summer has begun! |
[10 May 2004|09:50pm] |
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mood |
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exhausted |
] |
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music |
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Acceptance - Seeing Is Believing |
] |
Swim started today. It went well. I am alittle burnt, tired, but I am good. I really do love this job :)
Things are going really really good. I neeeeeeeeed to get some studying done and some Flawless stuff done, but all in all things are good. Pete and I are great and I miss him tons. I can't wait to see him.
Not much to say, I am happy. I feel good. I am gonna go to bed because I am incredia-tired, like whoa. Mad love to all. <3
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[06 May 2004|08:16pm] |
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mood |
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 nerdy |
] |
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music |
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Midtown - So Long As We Keep Our Bodies |
] |
Swim starts next week! I am excited like whoa! I have been working for Syb all week and it has been nice. Syb kinda keeps me on my toes, you never really know what she is gonna say, that is stressful. I really think that Mindy is a lesbian, and it kinda creeps me out just because she looks at me funny. But yeah, swim starts soooooooooon and I can't wait! I brought some new swim suits and I was way excited to find ones that fit and they weren't the fat chick swim suits! I think my tan lines won't be so harsh this summer. I don't wanna be all tan lined out for Crystal's wedding, I want to look as nice as possible because I want this day to be perfect for her!
Speaking of wedding, Pete is coming down for Crystal's wedding, well actualy he is coming down to see me but he will be here for Crystal&Tommy's wedding! I can't wait to see him! It is going to be wonderful to the max! I want my friends and family to meet him, and I am more than sure that they will love him! He is so wonderful and treats me great! I miss him so much right now, I want nothing more than to hangout with him and watch movies and watch him cry, hahaha. But yeah! I can't wait to see him.
I think sometimes I am the one to judge to quickly, and mostly I judge my parents. They are in super, gotta wear the christian t-shirt mode, which is wonderful, but I have grown out of that and my faith has changed me as I have changed and I think it has changed for the better. But I was talking to my Mom about the Lindsay Harding situation and I kinda jumped all over my Dad about being self-rightgoues, I guess my own self-rightgouesness has bit me in the ass. Because I have done the same that he has done. I am still learning and I am still finding that balance but I am alot closer than I was 5 months ago, thank God :) I don't pray that often and I think I need to start back up again. There is alot going on and I need to pray about it, prayer is good.
I am sad because I really like New Found Glory and I got an advanced copy and the music is really good but Jordan's voice is like his nose is plugged up with a clothes pin :( But the new Midtown is really good, I was impressed because I don't really like them. They are a bit to "rock star" for me. I have so much music to listen to, it is starting to get outta hand! I need to make a list.
Oh, and buy a t-shirt hoes! www.flawlessclothingonline.com
( quizes taken from becca )
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